Tuesday, December 12, 2006

On The Lot

Check out "The Clock Strikes Doom" at the On The Lot website, here.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

AMAZINGLY SPECTACULAR HOLIDAY MOVIE PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! with Idiot Boy Neal Anderson

I have been away because of severe dehydration but now I am back just in time for the holidays! Thanks you for your cards and such, they meant a lot. But enough about me!!! (but if you want to learn more about dehydration you can find out about it ON-LINE!!!!! DO IT!!!! Before you become dehydrated yourself!!!)
Anyways, so many movies always come out at Christmastime, so why not give yourself a present and go see one! This is my AMAZINGLY SPECTACULAR HOLIDAY MOVIE PREVIEW that will tell you which ones are the best, so you can skip the rest.

The King Kong
This one is about a great big monkey!!! He is like a thousand feet tall and super strong! Problems happen when this giant monkey is made King and it goes to his head and he tries, I believe, to have sex with Marilyn Monroe, because she make sexy eyes with him when he battles a giant snake or something. He even climbs up the tallest building in New York City (NYC!). The film is, I believe, set in the past, i.e. before the terrorists destroyed this magnificent building. Now that is something for us all to think about.

The Rent

This one is a musical! It has still not come out! I am so excited for this one! This one looks amazing (see the amazing picture above!)! I have seen it on the live stage like a jazillion times! The cool kids are broke, they cannot pay The Rent! Got to pay the rent! La la la Rent! One by one they die of AIDS (sad but true, happens ALL THE TIME, etc.) and the "show must go on!" as they say, Rent-style.

Casanova Man
What a man, this Casanova man. He bounds around ancient Rome with a feather in his cap and is all like "hello my fine lady what a nice frock you have on," and they are positively melting. I would melt too, if jolly Casanova had his way with me, but not in a gay way, just friendly and respectful. Because he was a great man! Trivia: His name means A New House.

Memories of a Geisha
This Geisha is a Chinese lady, and her memories are sad becuase Geishas are Chinese hookers. Hookers are often sad because they cannot kiss on the mouth. Never on the mouth! This is, I believe, because dignity and honour are important to the Asians, and perhaps also to hookers - odd!!! The geishas wear elaborate robes that turn into sex machines, I believe. Is this a musical? I do not know. I think I want to be a geisha.

The Ring of Fire
Is that what it's called? Who is in this movie? River Phenix and the lady with the crazy name! She has a name like Henrietta Motherspoon - trust me it is hilarious. River Phenix plays a crazy country rocker who discovers a magic ring of fire, and then they both sing about it and get married. Me, I am interested to learn more about it, about the man.

Brokenback Mountains

What is this one about??? I am excited! Two country cowboys. One is Casanova Man, and the other is The Spider Man. They are best friends and have wonderful times together just a' fishin' and herdin' up the cattle and a' wrasslin' about and such, I believe. Their women friends don't get it! They are all like "I don't wantcha messin' with that cowboy! I wantcha ta stay home and smooch me the live long day!" (one of these is from Dawson Creek!!!!!! Why is Dawson Creek not in this one!!??) These good ol' gals don't get it! Boys will be boys!!!!! That is a fact! It is important to have boy friends!!!!!

The Lion and the Witch and The Wardrobe

This one sounds like an old joke like "What do get when you cross an Lion and a Witch and they go into a wardrobe???" I don't know what the puchline would be, but I bet there will be plenty of punchlines in this one. Because it is like Shrek? I think so. That one was Hi-larious, especially the black fellow as the dirty donkey! He was the dirtiest donkey there ever was, except for something from the internet that my friend made me watch on taco night.

Munich
This is going to be a biggie! It is directed by Mr. Steven Spielberg, the man who made E.T. and The Jurassic Park and The Star Wars and and The Titanic and The War of Worlds!!!!!! What is it about???? Who cares!!!! It will be exciting. I think maybe it is about Jewish crime-fighters, that is okay, I would be okay with jewish material if it is exciting like The Jurassic Park. As long as they are not chanting and such every two minutes (NOT RACIST!).

That's it for now, but I know there are more!!! Maybe I will write about them, if they become popular and such. I am happy to do it!! Until then I will go see these ones and maybe I will see you there, there in the theatre. Unless I can find somebody to tell me how I can watch them on my phone, then I will just watch them on that.

See you at the movies!

Yours truly,
Neal Anderson

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

FALL MOVIE SPECTACULAR PREVIEW! with Idiot Boy Neal Anderson

The Big Summer Movie Season is almost over but guess what? The Fall Movie Season is, I believe, just around the corner, so it's okay! A lot of these movies are important because they are eligible for "Oscar." Good luck to all of them! I am excited!

The Rent - Everybody hates paying the rent - when they do, they want to sing the blues! That's what this one is about. It was a hit Broadway play and I saw it in Toronto THREE TIMES and I am super excited for the movie. There are tough times in life, but if you have friends and love to sing the blues and dance around and have timechanges then it will be okay!

A Constant Gardener
- What's up with this guy, he's always at it with the weeds and such. Snoozey!

Jennifer Aniston's Movie - I know she has one, I don't know what it is called, but I will go see it, because I do not think it was "cool" for Mr. Cool Brad Pitt to leave her at the altar for the freaky slutty one who drank Sling Blade's blood and has an army in China or what-have-you. That was mean! Let's all support Jen and go see this one, okay!!!???? Trivia: Jennifer Aniston played "Rache" on the Friends TV Show.

New Henry Porter!!!!!! - The wait will soon be over and we will get to see Henry and all his friends at the wizard school flying around and looking in boxes and such. One thing, however, is that nobody should look at the little girl (Hermeneme!) when she is in the movie because she is going through special Timechanges and it would not be right, so no matter how much you want to look at her DO NOT LOOK AT HER!!!!

Elizabeth's Town - Somebody dies and a sad young man meets a girl who teaches him how to use the telephone? The girl, Elizabeth, also has a town. This one has already been out, I believe, and Princess Leia was in it, also the doctor from that show. There was a hole and they screamed in the hole. Anyhow it's coming out again and I am excited!!!!!!!!

The Million Dollar Baby
- Has this one come out already? In it, I believe Dirty Harry has a baby and he sells it for a million dollars, then the baby gets brain damaged and Dirty Harry has to sit on it with a pillow - sad!

See you at the movies!
Yours truly, Neal Anderson

Friday, August 12, 2005

MEMO

From: Mark Slutsky, Head of Talent
To: Seth W. Owen, Head of Development
Re: Hungry

Hi Seth!

I want some peanut-butter-flavoured candy. I've included some examples below. It's late on a Friday afternoon and I'm feeling squirmy and distracted.

Mark

"WHAT I WANT:"









Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Cashing in our chips

Proposed AVS feature:

I Hardly Even Know Her
"High-stakes" romcom
The Stars: Joe Cobden, Dan Perlmutter, Laura Perlmutter, Sarah Musgrave, and Josh Dolgin as "The Kid"
The Skinny: An cocky up-and-coming poker champ (Cobden) meets his greatest challenge: a beautiful player who's determined to beat him... just as he's determined to win her heart.
The Scoop: Well, poker's pretty big these days and with the studio's newfound interest in it, it's perhaps in AVS's best interest to "cash in" while it can. To be filmed on location at the Casino du Montréal.
The Bottom Line: AVS brass seem pretty confident... but do they hold a winning hand, or is this derivative romcom just a bluff?

Friday, July 01, 2005

MOVIETIME with Idiot Boy Neal Anderson #8: SPECIAL WAR OF THE WORLDS EDITION!

OMG!!!!!!!! The biggest blockbuster is out now, and it is A War of the Worlds!!!! I saw it last night and do you know what? I am really scared. I am scared because this amazing movie is a true and terrifying tale and I have never seen anything like it!!!! There is so much to say!!!!!!! This movie is from two of Hollywood's crown princes, Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise, so you know it is going to be good!!!!!

First, the plot of this movie. In this movie, I believe, Tom Cruise plays a cool guy who drives a super crane and is all like "Whatever" when his two nerdy kids show up for the weekend. Their mother is a big old b-word who has left Tom Cruise to marry a nerd. There is the little blonde one from the movie with the black man and a teenage boy who is a nobody and has to finish his homework? But guess what? There is no time for homework when a giant robot man comes up out of the sidewalk, I believe, and starts shooting everybody and eating buildings and such. Tom Cruise is like WHAAAAA???? So even Tom Cruise is scared, I understand that, but why is he not fighting the giant robot? He should get in his jet plane (a la The Top Gun) and blam it up, or go karate on it or something (a la the Final Samari). But I suppose he cannot because he is a father. Then he gets his kids and they are running away. Many people get killed by the giant robots. Then the teenager wants to join the army. His name is Robbie, and he wants to join the army so bad it hurts (I know the feeling Robbie!!!!!!) Then the other guy from the movie with the weirdo river molesters shows up and he is completely bats. Then the river molester and Tom Cruise go into a room together and something happens, I don't know. Then they are running again, and then I became completely scared and I had to make a phone call but I am okay now.

These big robots, they are really some baddies. They are just tearing it up all over the place, and in one scene they are zapping people in a river, just like in The Titanic. I really do not know what I would do if they showed up one day like in this movie. If I ever see lightning, like in a lightning storm, I will just start running and never stop. I AM SO SCARED!!! If I saw the little blonde girl crying alone in the street while I was running, I would give her all of my change but I WOULD NOT STOP RUNNING. She is a smart one, she will be okay on her own. I would not run forever, because I am no coward. Eventually I would join the army like Robbie.

BUT WHY IS THERE NO SUPER CREW IN THIS MOVIE!!!??? If I was the President and the giant robots popped up and started freaking everybody out, I would pick up my special President phone and start calling all the best good guys and then we would have a SUPER CREW to fight the baddies. I would call:

1) The Batman
2) The Superman
3) The Daredevil
4) Miss Jessica Alba
5) Miss Sandra Bullock
6) Rumpelstiltskin
7) Michael Bubbley
8) Blackie Peas
9) Harry Porter
10) The Lord of the Rings
11) Spidey!
12) Darth Vader
13) Geronimo!!!!
14) Jimmy Fallon
15) Tiger Wood!
16) All of the other super people
17) The black one who knows the little blonde one
18) Leonard Kravitz (rock n' roller)
19) Tom Cruise, because I think he does a pretty good job in this one
20) Tom Cruise's new wifey Kate Holmes, so they will not be separated
21) Others.

That should do it. Also, my friend Danny P. says that if the witch from The Bewitched was in Herbie they could do it too. IF ONLY HE REMEMBERED that ONLY TOM CRUISE'S CAR WORKS WHEN THE ALIENS COME & NOT EVEN WITCHERY WILL CHANGE THAT. HERBIE WILL NOT WORK FOR THIS ONE SORRY DANNY P.

A lot of things are killed and blown up in this movie, and that made me think of the one from a couple of years ago when the two superbuildings were exploded by the terrorists. Even in this movie the little blonde one goes "Is it the terrorists?" and everyone is like "I'll bet it is." Also, the other one that Steven Spielberg made that was set in the past and had the baddies from the Indiana Jones fighting the Jewish. It was in black & white (???). It had a scene like in The Psycho - scary, but everything was okay. Also, as I said before, The Titanic. These are all great movies, I believe, because they show terrible things happening and the whole human race must have timechanges and become okay again through struggle and heroism and much hardship and timechanges. That is why this not just some dumb movie that you go see and are like "Yeah, right, whatever" like Tom Cruise at the beginning, instead you must be like, "Okay, I get it now, I am learning to grow and have the timechanges."

ALSO! If you get really scared after you see this movie and are always running away everytime you hear the lightning, DO NOT GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST. Tom Cruise was saying that they are up to no good like the Indiana Jones baddies (NAZIS!) and I'll bet that when the robots come down in real life one of them (The Psychiatrists) will be all evil with their white coats and little eyeglasses and be all like "Kill Zem!" (meaning humans not the robots! They will be all buddy buddies with the robots!) and they will tie up Kate Holmes and the little blonde one to feed them to the giant robots. Then if the President can get it together, it will be SUPER CREW TO THE RESCUE! I hope that they would make it there in time. The Super Crew should let Tom Cruise be the one to untie them (his ladies), it is the right thing to do. Okay, so DO NOT GO TO THE HEADSHRINKERS. Also, do not listen to the ones (Media!) who tell you that Tom Cruise is not a straight up straightly straight shooter! He is! He wants to help people! With this movie, he has helped many. Think about it.

See You at the Movies!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson

Friday, June 17, 2005

MOVIETIME with Idiot Boy Neal Anderson #7

Oh, I know it has been awhile. Sorry, I've been busy! Busy going to the movies that is! Some of the time, anyway. I finally saw New Star Wars! As those of you who have read my Timechanges Blogger know I left the line-up because the alien lady was giving me the stink eye, and that was a difficult time but now I have seen it and it is truly a great one. The best one of all of them! All of the Star Wars! Especially nice was when they went to a purple planet and Obi rode a giant pretty peacock. Also I liked the apartment that Annie and the Princess lady from the dirty one were living in - in the window you could see a bunch of cool space cars, so I have no idea why the Princess was so upset all the time - maybe she was still sad that an old lecher made her strip off for the Pretty Lady in the other one. Where was Hans Olo? We will never know.

Also I saw The Batman Begins. This one is weird and wild. The first half of this movie is about a billionaire playboy who is sad, and then discovers (Timechanges!) physical fitness and whatnot, I believe. The second half is about The Batman. I do not know what these two men have to do with one another, but their tales are exciting to the eye. In the first half, the man, Wayne, is irritated by bats and his mother and father take bullets after he crybabies them into the alleyway. This is quite coincidental to the second half of this film, wherein we meet the big man, who is part-bat, part-man: The Bat Man. I kept wanting these two fellows to meet and shake hands, but good luck! That will never happen in the first one - but I bet in one of the sequels they might even kiss, but not in a gay way, just "Hey Bats!" "Hey Wayne!" "Let's have a smooch!" There's also a freaky scarecrow in this movie, and a guy from The Star Wars.

And also in this movie is little Joey Potter from the Creek, the lucky lovely who is now Mrs. Tom Cruise AKA The Biggest & Best Movie Star in the Whole World. Actually I have a great deal in common with Mr. Tom Cruise and his attempts to deal with the evils of Nazi medicine and crime and books and the like. He is teaching the world to read (the classics), and now he is teaching Joey Potter to read his lessons of love. They are the First Lady and Man of Planet Hollywood in my books. Together these two lovely birds are going through the biggest Timechanges around. Look at him as he hollers it out "I am having amazing Timechanges!!!! This is my number one special lady and she is rocking my world and we are going scuba diving into the heart of love!" So happy for them! I cannot wait to see them both fighting off the alien baddies in the new one everybody is excited for - War of Worlds! I will discuss it soon!!!! I will also discuss the new great ones by Hillary Duff and what else, maybe the one with Mr. Handsome and the slutty one who broke Rachel's heart. See you at the movies!!!!!!!!!!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson